FUN WITH STATISTICS

1. Statistics are like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital. - Aaron Levenstein

2. Definition of a statistician: A mathematician broken down by age and sex.
3. Two unbiased estimators are sitting in a bar, having a few beers. The first one says, "How do you like being married?" The second one says, "It's okay, but you lose a degree of freedom!"
4. How about an old, old, stat joke. It's about the statistician's view of a person with one foot embedded in a bucket of ice and the other foot on a hot stove...on the average, he's comfortable!
5. One day there was a fire in a wastebasket in the dean's office and in rushed a physicist, a chemist, and a statistician. The physicist immediately starts to work on how much energy would have to be removed from the fire to stop the combustion. The chemist works on which regent would have to be added to the fire to prevent oxidation. While they are doing this, the statistician is setting fires to all the other wastebaskets in the office. "What are you doing?" they demanded. "Well to solve the problem, obviously you need a large sample size" the statistician replies.